stars.always there.

looking at myself

2010-11-19T10:53:00.002+08:00

when you are well taught in grace, you know self-consciousness will lead to sin-consciousness.

but there are so many things i want to tell You i don't know how to start so i'm going to start by writing.

i have been the most harsh person ever to the friends i hold dearest to my heart. i love them. more than a lot of other people and they are the ones who can hurt me the easiest. but everytime i see them, i lost the smile i always had. there is joy to see them, but also an unknown anger... sometimes i wonder what's wrong with me. sometimes i thought maybe if i stop seeing them altogether i might be happier. but then again, these girls are important to me.

my arrogance does not come with the problem of humility to submitting. somehow i don't know how to explain it. i stop treating some people as equals? i'm not a fair person. and i want to be. all are the same before you but i know i am the most beloved child of You.

take away the anger, the arrogance and the ignorance. only You can do it.

bad or good

2010-01-26T00:41:00.003+08:00

it has been awhile since i wrote anything.

but this place is somewhere i am more comfortable with than facebook.

my words are cutting edge, i know that.
i don't like to judge people but sometimes i still do.
as no one can judge anyone.
i may mean the best, but i don't say it the right way.

that should tell me more than enough.
but i am not sorry i said what i said
just sorry that it did not get across the way it should have.

which brings me to the other issue.
should i or should i not talk to yvonne.

but i am thankful for Daddy God.
because when no one else understands, He always does.

words

2009-09-05T00:45:00.001+08:00

the power of words is so strong

that you never knew you hurt someone until someone hurts you with words.

that you have touched someone until someone else has touched you with words.

choices

2009-08-31T11:48:00.001+08:00

Yi Ling executed another very important decision last thursday.

there is no regret, probably just the sadness that her boss still does not understand.

she know what she truly wants. maybe the routes and forks do not lead her to them now.

that does not make the want unattainable

and she understand something more than she did the last 4 years.

Daddy does not love her any lesser just because she made a wrong decision.

that's why she reminds herself that she will forever be Daddy's beloved!

dinner

2009-08-05T23:04:00.001+08:00

a most wonderful dinner i had tonight.

and saying it out loud just tells me how much i am resting in God's love for me.
and how comfortable i am in all situations now tells me it's by God's grace.

the past few months had been awesome!
and i know it will grow forevermore!

favor

2009-07-24T12:46:00.004+08:00

Yi Ling knows she will always be loved.

time & choice

2009-07-09T10:05:00.002+08:00

i made a lot of choices these past few years.

i chose science and maths over arts in JC.

i gave up a teaching scholarship offer for architecture.

i let go of architecture for events.

and the events i am doing now is not what i really want to do.

maybe the romanticist in me knows i rather do weddings and happy events.

and the 'man' in me craves a career where i am my own boss.

i have big dreams and bigger aspirations.

but my efforts are so minimal.

i believe things will come for me.

but i don't believe i can do it without Him and myself.

WITHOUT HIM, I CANNOT.
WITHOUT ME, HE WILL NOT.

career

2009-05-11T23:01:00.004+08:00

i need to find a job soon.

seriously.

but i really only want a job in events.

be it events management, marketing, planner, coordinator..

for conventions, exhibitions, weddings. everything!!

i'm so desperate that i will love to pull all the strings now to get the job!!

myself.

2009-04-09T15:06:00.002+08:00

Stolen from chun: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

care

2009-03-23T16:44:00.002+08:00

Multiple Choice Question:

You know who truly care when you can into an accident?

Does he/she ask

1) Are you ok? Are you injured?

2) Is your car ok? I hope your car is fine.

mind

2009-02-01T02:55:00.002+08:00

i really think too much.

and now it's not the time to do that.

i want so much.

but am i working for it?

-seganiyarpenrvahi
emhtiwgnorwsitahw-

time

2008-12-28T00:52:00.002+08:00

i love time.
i enjoy time.
that is perhaps why i don't favour dates.
i know majority of my friends sees the importance of a date.
the date of a birthday, an anniversary, a gathering, a celebration.
the date of an exam, a meeting and a showing.
the date of an occasion.

date is nevertheless, important.
but definitely not the most to me.
a date becomes a reason.
i don't need one to have lunch or dinner with family and friends.
i don't need one to share an ice cream with my darlings.
a date is simply e accessory to time.

time is every moment.
i try to enjoy every single moment in my life.
whether that moment is of joy or sorrow,
it is something that pass the next second.

we never get to live the very same second in our lives.
every next second may simply be my last.

i don't like to live with regrets.
so if you ask me to bungee, i will do it.
if you ask me to sky dive, why not?
but the power of yes must be understood first.

i digressed!! hahaha.

but nonetheless,
THANK YOU to my darlings for remembering every single date of my life.
and to continue being part of every moment of my life.

bf

2008-12-13T01:15:00.001+08:00

YiLing wants a boyfriend.
Like Edward Cullen.

HAHHAHAHHA
my 花心 is acting up again.
but i still do know the diff between fiction and real life.

but how far is fiction away from real life?

acquaintance

2008-12-01T22:12:00.000+08:00

i'm better a acquaintance.
not good a friend

compare

2008-11-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

don't like to be compared with.

tears

2008-10-29T12:50:00.002+08:00

maybe it has something to do with strength.
children cannot tighten their bottle of emotions
and are simply the best in expressing them.
by stomping their foot in anger,
or crying and wailing with wilfulness.

once u bypass your own definition of being a kid,
u will learn first, how to cap this bottle.
and then, tighten it.
and for some, they rather learn how to vaccumn it.

but no matter how it goes,
there are times where emotions cannot be controlled.
out of all these emotions,
tears can explain what words and other actions cannot.
whether you like them or not.

it used to be true for me,
for someone who let tears flow,
as in giving in to all my emotions.
even when i was still a teen.

the past tense is real.
i have grown up. matured in more ways than what my fellow peers are.
but i don't feel the passion anymore.
now i can feel that everything is simply boiled up inside.

i think i wrote this before,
nothing ill but i really don't mind if my life comes to an end suddenly.
it used to be because i don't leave regrets in my life.
suddenly it has changed to having to many regrets to really care.

prob it just boils down to the ultimate thing.

i have never been as tired in the heart as i am now.

the frustration and my inability.

if all used to be as simple as a ARGH and a WAAH.

i don't deserve my friends

2008-10-23T17:43:00.003+08:00

私は私の友人に値しない

hurt

2008-10-23T16:42:00.001+08:00

伤害任何人都不是我的本意

我并不了解我身边的任何人

a message

2008-10-05T00:35:00.005+08:00

あるべきなメッセージ

my lao gongs.

2008-09-16T00:37:00.016+08:00

hahha.
this is so bo liao. but im reshuffling my laogongs' status.

this is my 大大大老公.

my大老公.

and i have 2 二老公s.

the 三老公.

and of course the BAKA老公.

since im so 花心, hahhhaha, here are all my 韩国老公,情夫 and last of all, 小可爱!! =p

hahahahahha.
im seriously mad!!
but i just realised my love for KATTUN went down the hill a lot......

tyrant

2008-09-01T08:08:00.002+08:00

everyone has to bear the responsibilities of their own actions.
simply means, no one has to answer to anyone but yourselves.

i may be a really harsh person.
to almost everyone else.
it is a flaw in my character and probably the main reason for my temper.

but i never asked more than necessary.
for i see more than that.

if i do ask and you don't wish to tell, then just tell me so.
if i don't ask and you don't wish to tell, just leave it be.
there's no right and wrong in the options.
just as there's no reason, to feel the obligation to tell me.

i never felt i have to know every single thing in everyone's lives.
if you are willing to share, i'm always willing to listen.
if you aren't, don't insult me by thinking i will be angry.
i don't believe i'm so petty.

it becomes insulting and hurting when people closest to me still thinks so little of me.

messy

2008-08-22T23:04:00.001+08:00

which is messier?

sitting in a pool of mud

my own life.

生命的意义不仅限于生存

2008-08-05T04:00:00.003+08:00

生命的意义不仅限于生存

time

2008-08-04T23:16:00.001+08:00

no one will be there forever.

every moment is a memory.

what has passed will not return.

regrets should always be left. for tomorrow.

sister

2008-07-25T02:15:00.001+08:00

i love my dearest sisters.

but a blood sister will still make a big difference.

especially when you cant get along with your only brother.

zane

2008-06-22T00:08:00.011+08:00

zane.

赞恩.

beloved.

God's gracious gift.

gift from God.

God is gracious.

2008-06-18T13:29:00.001+08:00

the question is why,

i'm wasting my life as it is now.

death

2008-06-07T16:52:00.002+08:00

maybe because there is really nothing important in my life that i'm looking forward to.
or even to live for.

that's probably why i don't fear the notion of death.

flaws

2008-05-31T12:44:00.007+08:00

note to all who reads,

what follows may be disturbing.

so if u don't wish to carry on, navigate away immediately.

________________________________________________________________

friends love to tag me for a series of continuous questions to be answered on my blog.

i seldom entertain those chain posts unless i seriously have nothing to do.

today, it's my turn.

i'm tagging all my friends, who opens this post and read it.

let's throw away all the defensive nature of ourselves,

and answer the following question:

List your own flaws/weaknesses. Of your own personal self.

There is no limit to the list you can write.

As long as u feel that that is one, you can write it down.

This is suppose to mean as self reflection.

and the chance to know oneself.

If u cannot be honest with yourself, the list cannot be done.

Therefore i say this again, if u can handle the brutal truth, navigate away. now.

Kong Yi Ling

-nags. and nags too much.

-overbearing person.

-attention seeker.

-impatient.

-bad-tempered.

-makes excuses. which becomes lies.

-chameleon? it simply means i can be a hypocrite too.

-unrealistic.

-brutally frank to others, even my closest friends.

-no sense of humor. even when it's suppose to be a fun time.

-spirit dampener.

-spendthrift.

-jealous nature.

-naive. in the simplest things.

-lies, to myself.

-what i preach, i seldom do. what i preach, i expect others to do.

-i practiced favoritism. i'm serious.

-野蛮. a colleague said i was this. it must be true then

-cynical

i guess i'm not done.

so this will be continued.

hypocrite

2008-05-26T01:18:00.001+08:00

hypocrite

gifts

2008-05-17T13:45:00.001+08:00

innocence.

is a gift.

and a curse.

happiness.

is not a given.

i really do want to just be a average person.

and be happy.

my temper.

is the killer.

2008-05-02T19:35:00.002+08:00

我是个很狠的人
舌头有多毒我比任何一个人还清楚.

所以当你发现自己惹到我之后,
你就有两个选择.
一是不要在火上加油, 能闪多远是多远.
另是接受我的怒火.

我若已选择不要动怒,
就不要再惹我了.

就算你是位长辈.

enjoy

2008-04-18T11:47:00.003+08:00

i'm enjoying myself at the moment.
the joy of being back in school and waking up later.
meeting old friends and gossip chat and stuff.

i'm trying to lead a different life with a changed attitude.

patience is not a given talent but a trained skill.

if i can be patient, no matter who and what irritates me,
i feel the joy and comfort better.

some may not have been fair to me,
but i always know that everything can never be balanced totally.

i care for these pple therefore i am willing to sacriface the choices and rights i have.
i used to do it, but with unwilling anger.
today i do it, with a sense of comfort that someone else is happier.

maybe this was what patience was all about.

end of attachment

2008-04-11T22:20:00.001+08:00

the end of the pit stop.

the beginning of the next race.

self.ish.

2008-03-17T22:47:00.003+08:00

sometimes u wonder why some people think so much of themselves.
to them, everyone around them are inferior.
more cannot be said because they think every other word is being unfair, bias and rude to them.
their self thought perfectness,
makes them what they call themselves the perfect angels.

and i just simply feel they are a joke in life today.

no one is without flaws.
but they feel no need to heed anyone's advices.
even though they are in a place they do not understand.
they act as if they own the place.

i know i am a person of many flaws.
one being the frankness of words i use with people i care for.

if i have never said anything mean to you, something is wrong.

however, the irony in things are to keep their flaws a hidden secret.
because i have no right over them.

haha
where did the freedom of speech go?

i have never seen my mum keeps her mouth to herself so much.
she cannot reprimand cos they don't belong to her.
but i cannot stand it any longer.
my aunt says to allow them a chance to see a working world.
but if they never open their hearts, minds and eyes, they will remain forever ignorant in the ruthless society.

different places demand different attitudes and ways to handle different situations.
but they feel they have learnt enough to handle the society as it is.

as someone who
was forced to grow up since i was 10,
became an mentally independent girl at 13,
started working since 14,
learnt the harsh reality of the actual world in both the harshest and mildest ways,
i don't ever dare till today say i have enough to go out there
and become an elite in society.

to say they are self centered is an insult those who may be self centered but still knows how to care.
i will have to give it another name.
selfish.

time

2008-03-14T22:09:00.004+08:00

time.

God created it to be the same for everyone.

time to me, has been gone to the extent where i can no longer hold on.
i did and do many, tons and always more.
but i missed more important elements in the 24 hours i spent doing everything else.

i no longer know what's happening to dears who i don't see often enough.
even those i see often enough, i stop asking.

blog is wonderful.
in its own way.
we tell the world what is happening.
we know what is going on in our world.

but the most basic form of communication has been lost.
more than ever.

i stopped listening very long ago.
i hate myself for that.

now, i even stopped asking.

ironically
i know all these myself.
but i don't seem to be doing anything about it.

if writing it down is useful,
then why hasn't all work since so long.

i don't give up on the blog for simple reasons.
they contain more than words.

they contain memories of the times which i have forgotten.

if i were to open past memories, what can i find?

time is life.
i live a life, making use of time,
but i have never till today understand,

the most wondrous values of time.

a listening ear.

2008-02-06T21:21:00.000+08:00

a listening ear.

i used to be able to do that.
now i'm not sure it's possible.

so i shouldn't expect the same from others.
should i?

thank you

2008-01-29T22:43:00.000+08:00

thank you for all of you today.
it has always been simple things that touches my heart.

thank you.

and thank you. dear Lord.
for never forgetting and never stop hearing me.

end of year 2.

2008-01-25T22:12:00.000+08:00

the end of portfolio submission meant the end of the second academic year for me.
all i wait to do now is to receive my results and get ready for portfolio interview.

i know what i am aiming for.
but i don't believe my actions follow.

it has been a rubbish year for me.
in all aspects of my life.

some things have changed.

i realise changes in a person cannot be reversible.
but i really loathe these changes.

God's words are what i hear and act upon with my mind.
But where is the heart that use to listen?

i lost something dear to me in my life over this past year.

i don't believe it to be a good change.

but i always tell myself to listen to Him.

what i tell myself and the actions that follows.
they never go together.

so in the end.

do i really know what i am doing??

break

2007-12-16T02:00:00.000+08:00

a quick 2 days break.
before my brain burst totally

2007-12-06T15:03:00.001+08:00

a break.
may be just what i need

crazy

2007-12-03T05:54:00.001+08:00

iamforcingmyselftocraziness.
everythingislikeagreatbigjoke.
seriously.

HERO

2007-11-17T21:49:00.000+08:00

HERO is always fantastic.
and i know i will watch it. again and again and again.
in fact, i am going to watch the drama and SP now.

ohhhh. those who wants to watch the movie should go and watch the SP first.
it links.

darling girl

2007-10-25T20:06:00.001+08:00

Daddy is always there.

for His beloved darling girl.

touched

2007-10-20T22:04:00.000+08:00

never been so touched before.

happiness

2007-10-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

happiness comes in simple forms.

tired.

2007-10-15T23:55:00.000+08:00

i am brain dead.
physically worn out.
mentally shacked.

and it has still not come to the end.

an empty cup

2007-09-23T15:18:00.000+08:00

an empty cup needs filling.

water is dripping in again.
when will it gush?

蔷蔷

2007-09-23T00:38:00.000+08:00

蔷蔷 [词/曲: 陈嘉桦]

还记得你喜欢咬著我的手
然后给我你嘴里的球
要我陪你玩丢丢
你喜欢我摸摸你的小耳朵
窝在我的身旁
没有烦忧
在梦里遨游
好狗狗好狗狗
谢谢你陪妈咪这么久
你并没有离开我
是搬到天堂生活
蔷蔷
你要记得我
你不要走丢
快快找到天使
在天堂给我保佑
蔷蔷
不要忘了我
还有亲爱的阿姨叔叔和你的朋友
你永远活在记忆中

stress

2007-09-18T12:24:00.001+08:00

stress is a killer.
time is the ingredient.

time is enough for everyone.
since everyone has the same amount of time.

diana's letter

2007-09-10T21:45:00.000+08:00

hi my dear gals.
this is the letter from diana.
read on.
there's a notice at the back too. from diana. indirectly.
i got it out of her when i was there.

to:
all my beloved friends that got worried about a girl that left for hongkong.
"as each of us face the darkness of failure, there will be a light of success hiding out there. Never give up hope in finding it."

dear friends,

it has been a long time since i was back with each one of you. how are all of you?

look, i am really sorry to confess that for these past time, i have forgotten that i have 8 friends back home in singapore, that are worrying about what is happening to me for these 2 months.
that, was the very time i allowed myself to be drowned in the dark, not knowing where i wanted to go and even losing the very courage to live on. Thank God! Thank you, mum and dad, for bringing the news that YiLing is coming for the short exchange. It brought me hope that everyone is waiting and praying for me.

the thought of her coming brought me the courage to fight on. fight for my dreams for the future. i was blinded by the darkness of failure. however, i want to thank all of you who brought me the message, "You are not alone."

i have fallen numerous times. it will be painful but i will think of the warm hands of you all, my parents and more.

Lastly, i will make a commitment and appoint to call all of you, to tell you how honoured i am to know all of you. from the bottom of my heart, i thank all of you.

Lotsa Love,
Diana

diana has decided to stay in hongkong to work upon graduation next year.
this was actually sorta decided last year.
but this time round, it is a decision that will be fulfilled.
why?
her parents are moving over to hongkong to stay with her.
most probably by november
their flat in spore will be rented out.
her sis who was supposed to move back to spore is not.
her sis is either staying in US or moving to hk.
she is not expected to be back for the next 3-4 years on long time basis.
especially once she starts working.

however upset i was to hear this.
diana. all the best.
i will always keep you in prayer.
God Bless.

p.s. diana's english has 'deproved'. i made amendments here and there.
but the message is still the same

i'm back

2007-09-09T17:35:00.000+08:00

i was away.

and i'm back=]

hahahah

to my dear lamers.

i will post diana's letter here.

so catch up k.

to dear diana.

i'm already missing you here.

even though i just saw you yesterday.

try to be back k.

love u lots.

4 things.

2007-08-22T15:53:00.000+08:00

The 4 Things

[with no thanks to miss sim. hahahaha]

4 jobs I had in my life:
a child

a sister

a friend

a student

4 movies I can watch over and over again:
Princess Diaries 1

Princess Diaries 2

Anastasia

Beauty and the Beast

[i’m just a little girl]

4 places I've been on a vacation to:
Malaysia [more times than I can count]

Hong Kong [going again in sep]

Bintan [twice, both sch trips]

Thailand [not on a plane though]

4 of my favourite dishes:
mummy cooked food [i hate takeouts]

sushi

poultry

cakes [but I have very high standards of them. is yours up to my taste?]

4 places I would like to visit:
Japan

Europe

America

Dubai

[hmmm, fantastic places. Are you going to pay for me?]

4 most overused words:
i

Really?

What the. [With no vulgarities intended]

So?

4 tv shows I love to watch:
i have more than 10 on my lists now.

which means I’m watching too much shows.

so.

i’m not listing them out.

4 singers you are currently hooked on:

NewS

Kanjani8

Orange Range

Uverworld

[you won’t know more than half of them.]

4 bloggers I'm tagging:

chun. [ms luo is very busy. That’s why I chose you. hahah]

diana. [she is playing a missing person. Will I see it up on her blog.]

serene. [who never ever even read my blog even once]

liyun. [cos she tried to catch up with my blog sometimes]

gomplayer

2007-08-20T22:41:00.000+08:00

for people who simply hate Window Media Player when it refuses to read your codecs, make certain files which they are suppose to play or even play the separate subtitles files for you,

enjoy GOMPLAYER=]
it's a terrific replacement for WMP=]

craziness

2007-08-19T00:16:00.000+08:00

the problem with archi people.

when we have work,
we scream weariness, stress and simply no time.

then when we take our long due break,
we start screaming: bored

are we so deprive of a life already?

goodbyework.hellohongkong!

2007-08-13T22:00:00.000+08:00

goodbyework.hellohongkong!

but i have screwed up all the submissions i have this year.
and i really really mean it.

understanding.

2007-08-05T19:02:00.000+08:00

it is not as easy as it seems.
that has been a natural part of me since even primary school.

comprehension is the hardest for all language papers.
i always manage to do the best among many others.
so can many others
but that does not mean you or me can do it in real life.

i admit i will feel lonely at times.
so maybe i really want all the understanding i can get.
these people are suppose to be closest to my heart.
that's why i get hurt even more.

before dinner, please get all the things planned done.

angry

2007-08-03T22:30:00.000+08:00

i am angry

why is it that i always spoil the mood?
why do i always make the atmosphere awkward?
why is it always me at fault?
why is it that i know it but unable to do anything?

it is best i am left alone.

as i said.

not a single person in my life understands me.
no one.

jealous

2007-07-28T07:57:00.000+08:00

i can feel the difference.
between me n my friends.
and how some are more willing to listen to them
and not to me.

as i keep reflecting on myself.
i am really a lousy friend to be.

Morrie

2007-07-25T12:48:00.000+08:00

Once you learn how to die,

you will know to live.

-Morrie-

relive

2007-07-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

knowing He is there.
knowing i will always believe.
knowing i will always love Him.

is not enough.

let me start again.

2007-07-19T01:25:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder.

is it because i cannot appreciate people around me?
or is it they who could not appreciate me?

or am i just too over-bearing?
that they do not even want to be bothered with me?

i just realised,

how little friends i have.

and how so few,

are close to my heart.

hongkong

2007-07-14T02:35:00.001+08:00

i'm going!
so excited.
but first, i need to fulfill a promise i made.
to the teachers.

2007-07-07T01:47:00.000+08:00

some things never change

mask

2007-07-04T18:47:00.000+08:00

I have a mask. peel it off.

Will you?

I need a shoulder and a hug.

May i?

I want real company.

Can i?

萧敬腾

2007-06-24T00:59:00.000+08:00

我很喜欢听好的歌声.
萧敬腾.
我爱上了他的声音.

但是我真的做不完功课了 .

the agony

2007-06-10T14:42:00.000+08:00

i hate being the eldest grand-girl-child in the family.

u get scolded for nothing.

u get blame for something you did not do.

and then,

u are never trusted over something which you can do.

and someone gets the recognition.

so what's the point here.

and where's the point of coming back here.

i should just be like my bro.

sleep.

and everything around you

has nothing to do with you.

joint

2007-06-07T11:29:00.001+08:00

stupid.stupid.back.no.more.

stupid.stupid.stupid.joint.

faith and error

2007-06-05T00:55:00.000+08:00

all man err.
who hasn't.
but what it really takes is to live through the mistake you have made.
and to live through it, live through yourself first.
if you can't clear you own conscience,
and forgive yourself for the mistake you made,
who is going to forgive you and give you a chance of repentance.

it may not be as serious as it sounds.
but truth remains.

and the only one capable of forgiving you.
for all you have done.
for all mistakes made.
and the one you owe the most.
is always willing to forgive you.
and if you know,
you know who i am talking about.

this msg is for a friend.

tired

2007-05-30T12:23:00.000+08:00

i'm tired.
of being the one that always steps out first.

bitchy

2007-05-27T22:04:00.000+08:00

i am feeling bitchy.
and i can be a bitch.
don't mess with me.

and how many times when you say ignore me,
do people say no.
and ask you what it exactly is?

sometimes it's heartbreaking.
how little people closest to your heart think of you.
and how easy they take you for granted.
even worse it is when they think it won't hurt you.

times are difficult enough for me.
i don't need more nonsense.

as they as,

you will not cry for those whom you do not love.
your heart will not break for those who do not matter.
just as those who matter and love you,
will never make you cry and break your heart.

牵手

2007-05-23T20:07:00.000+08:00

人的心中
都渴望
能有人陪伴
牵手走到最后.

thirst

2007-05-20T00:28:00.001+08:00

thirst.fromwithin.
satisfied.i'mnot.

back

2007-05-15T19:04:00.001+08:00

stupid.back.

church

2007-05-13T17:25:00.000+08:00

sometimes you wonder
do you go because of the presence of your friends?
regardless of whether they are close or not
or just because of Him.

as more and more make their way out of here to study overseas,
am i losing more n more contact there?

feelings

2007-05-11T13:39:00.000+08:00

well, that sums up my week.

eventful.busy.crazy.

don't seem to understand myself sometimes.

don't seem to know what i am doing at others.

feels like i'm doing the right thing.

but sometimes, it's actually not.

disappointment

2007-05-05T22:44:00.000+08:00

disappointed.tired.frustrated.sleepy.pain.headache.tempermental.

matter

2007-05-04T10:50:00.000+08:00

u wonder why some people matter to u.
when they don't even bother about you.

i'm just a nobody.
trying to create a place for somebody

朋友的重要性

2007-04-24T00:09:00.000+08:00

朋友的重要性

难道要在失去
或被忽略后
才知道可贵与重要吗?

轻轻的涟漪

2007-04-14T01:06:00.000+08:00

再平静的心湖
都会因为小小一片的叶子
泛起轻轻的涟漪

一句无心的话
一个理直气壮的简讯
了解变成了误会

原本曾靠在一起的心
如今变成无法挽回的情

我不是大家所认定的乖女孩
不是大家所觉得的好孩子
不是大家所看到的

一个面具
遮住了我自己
遮盖了我的心

也许
掀起这副面具
你我
也不会
认识我自己

me

2007-04-07T21:31:00.000+08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

selfish>

2007-04-05T12:15:00.000+08:00

why does everyone in the family think I am that selfish?

blessings

2007-04-05T00:12:00.000+08:00

God's blessing upon people is different.
Some He gives treasures of the pocket.
Others He gives treasures of the heart.

He shows me time and again that He loves me.

Final Theory Test for driving.
I studied all the wrong stuff. Seriously all the wrong stuff.
He showed me answers. And I passed.
Isn't He a wonderful God?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chitchatting with a friend today.
She asked me if I will ever tell him again.
I have no answer.
He is the only guy who has ever made me at a loss of words.
And He appeared at the wrong timing before.
I was apparently the wrong person as well.

I don't believe I will ever be the right person.
But after months of telling myself that, I am a utter failure.

The moment was wrong. The person was wrong.

Is it a mistake?
If it is, do I continue in my mistake?

friends.

2007-03-30T18:15:00.000+08:00

remember how when we were young and we always tell our friends " i don't want to friend you already"
i have always been one who minds where my friends place me in importance.
in the past, present and i believe in the future too.
but it only applies to the friends i care about.

sadly to say,
sometimes, i see more of diana
than i see marcia n kuanie n baoyue in a year.
and where is diana n where is marcia n kuanie n baoyue?

i am seeing less and less or the pple i care for.
and more n more of some pple i don't even want to be bothered with.

and friends are one of my most important assets, other than God and my family.
as i always said.

but am i doing what i am preaching?
or not.

2007-03-29T13:52:00.000+08:00

i always feel more.
when i start reading all my friend's blog and msn nicks.

was i ever like them?
maybe yes, maybe no.
but it is not easy to read and just put it aside.
i was never one to ignore my friends.
just those i don't know.

it is silly sometimes.
since what we are going through are what we chose to.

friends tell me not to overwork.
i tell them the same in return.

all of us have 24 hours a day.
minus 7 hours of sleep[which is enough for age 15-30 pple]
minus 8-12 hours of work and school.
and the remaining 5-9 hours for relaxation, rest and time with God.

God is fair. He knows we have enough.
He gives us enough so we will not be greedy.
He doesn't ask us to sit with Him every moment and everyday.
He just wants us to always remember, He is always there.

Stress and workload.
Is it what we call the devil's doing?
Or our own.

We cannot have everything in our lives.
I learn that the hard way.
and I am still learning.

Time is not our foe.
Time is our friend.
The way you treat time,
will be the way time treats you.
___________________________________________________________

My dear girl, when can we finally have a casual lunch together?
Not when it is someone's birthday again please.
and I start school in 2 weeks=)

tagged

2007-03-25T14:58:00.000+08:00

tagged by chunnie dear.

Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. I am not who you think I am. maybe.

2. I love, absolutely adore, am crazy over flowers and stars.

3. I love my books,comics,music,porcupine,turtles.

4. I love my 3 lao gongs...

5. I am a TV freak.

6. I talked, third party manner. u dont want to get me started. i take ages to stop.

tagging-diana, baoyue, rachel, shirley, gwennie, stacy

好朋友

2007-03-19T17:05:00.000+08:00

☆罗志祥--好朋友☆

☆词曲:kang.hyun min☆

像两首节拍不同的歌
却又同时被爱情合奏
旋律勉强着
愉快不能够假装快乐
你心中有宽阔的天空
空气还稀薄
曾经等待因为会改变什么
你总会属于我
但是最后时间证明了
你只喜欢我
你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心还会不会寂寞
如果爱情是五线谱
我只希望用全音符
吟唱出爱上你
那完整的幸福
当你的心没有耳朵
即使我为你唱着歌
你也只看见我哭了
你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心还会不会寂寞
歌词提供再兴
☆☆☆☆
曾经因为等待会改变什么
你总会属于我
但是最后时间证明了
你只喜欢我
你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心
ho 还会不会寂寞
你说我是你最好的朋友
却不应该再拥抱着
你退缩你冷漠
于是我放开双手
不在乎我的心
会永远的寂寞
呜..☆.
☆献给永远走在一起的朋友

name

2007-03-16T02:45:00.000+08:00

funny thing is...
in the midst of all me busybusybusyness...
and all my forgetfulforgetfulforgetfulness..
i actually decided on the name of my future daughter...[if i ever have one]
and that is ...

cherish.

it is a simple word that means a lot.
to cherish all.
GOD.family.friends.lovedones.people.things.
to remind that what we own cannot be taken for granted.
learn.tocherish.

busy

2007-03-15T00:41:00.000+08:00

so busy.
so screwed up with my time and finance.
argh.
argh.
argh.

thank you

2007-03-07T12:13:00.000+08:00

thankYoufortheresults.
itisnotjustmywork.
butYoursaswell.
fortheloveshoweredonme.
thankYou.

F

2007-03-06T23:27:00.000+08:00

im not worried bout the final grade.
but just super pissed to see the F on one of the section.
even if it does not represent my final grade.
but all if feels is

all efforts have just been washed down the drain.

areYouremindingmeofsomethingagain?

life

2007-02-25T11:03:00.000+08:00

life is as complicated as u want it to be.
and as simple as it has always been.

"好久不见"

2007-02-14T13:39:00.000+08:00

i know the first thing i will miss when i stepped into church.
her "好久不见"

爱转角

2007-02-11T03:53:00.001+08:00

我伪装着
不露痕迹的想在你身边
静静的陪着看着天边
骑着单车
往前行进着
某个路口爱在等着
你往前走
不回头看了记忆的笑脸
缓缓的敲着我的琴键
我不舍得
让你孤单单的
我爱你的心牵挂着
心不再拚命躲不去害怕结果
假设有个以后你会怎么说
一直想跟你说幸福不再溜走
下个路口你会看见爱
有美丽笑容
爱转角遇见了谁是否有爱情的美
爱转角以后的街能不能有我来陪
爱转角遇见了谁是否不让你流泪
也许陌生到了解让我来当你的谁
我不让爱掉眼泪不让你掉眼泪
现在永远
你就是我就是我的美

心不再拚命躲不去害怕结果
假设有个以后你会怎么说
一直想跟你说幸福不再溜走
下个路口你会看见爱
有美丽笑容
爱转角遇见了谁是否有爱情的美
爱转角以後的街能不能有我来陪
爱转角遇见了谁是否不让你流泪
也许陌生到了解让我来当你的谁
我不让爱掉眼泪不让你掉眼泪
现在永远
你就是我就是我的美
爱转角遇见了谁是否有爱情的美
爱转角以後的街能不能有我来陪
爱转角遇见了谁是否不让你流泪
将寂寞孤单作废让我来当你的谁
我不让爱掉眼泪不让你掉眼泪
现在永远
你就是我就是我的美

the simplicity of life.

2007-02-10T17:43:00.000+08:00

we tend to forget
the simplicity of life
when we forget God's love for us

i hope to finish my baptism this year.
but the family's not helping.
prob i aint trying hard enough.

prayers can be simple.
when time is on your side
go through emails u received before.

I JUST CAME TO TELL YOU LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.

DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO JESUS, THIS IS YILING
CHECKING IN TODAY.

nature

2007-02-10T17:33:00.000+08:00

everyone loves nature.
just remember

nature
is God's gift to all His children.

"ALWAYS"

appreciation

2007-02-09T10:50:00.000+08:00

how seldom we
appreciate all that we already have.
how often we
greed for more than we need.

contentment.
do you feel it?

i hate feeling rubbishy!

dinner

2007-02-07T01:41:00.000+08:00

iwanttohavelunchordinnerwiththesepple.
free?
chunbaoyuerachelamelia

friendster.
do i really have that much friends?

greedy

2007-02-07T01:33:00.000+08:00

greedy.selfish.unsatisfied.
i rely on others and asked from others.
but i do not give in return.
i expect.iwant.idemand.

slyvester sim

2007-02-06T01:06:00.000+08:00

i actually serve mr sly today.
without knowing it was him.
and in fact, he is just another average guy.
who wants to sing.